1878-1888 You’re Evicted, Come and Get Your Stuff!

Tuesday 27th April – Saturday 8th May 2021

OK, so Im STILL playing Blog Catch Up, in a big way!

They’d discussed it, considered it and discounted it before.  So we thought leaving our stuff at the Aged P’s house was OK.  Then we got that phone call.  We’re selling and down sizing.  Please come and get your ‘stuff’.  Research and a really useful FaceBook called Group Road Trip: UK to Greece & Back and we were fairly confident on what paperwork, tests etc we needed.  Right to transit is a very powerful travel card.

On another FaceBook group someone asked about getting a dog from Crete to UK, on behalf of an elderly friend.  We offered if the dog was not too big.  It turned out to be not one but two LARGE dogs.  The owners had been on Crete for 16 happy years, but infirmity meant they could no longer cope and were relocating back to their family farm in Kent.  We agreed to transport them!  Mad!!!   So our road trip became a Canine Odyssey! 

Departure Date was booked on 27th April, so we could enjoy James’ birthday on 26th.  Just before this Karl cooked a memorable birthday meal with his signature work of art cheese board and short rib beef which was unctuous.  We officially didn’t need PCR tests as transmitting Italy, but Minoan said we did, so we had them done at 8.00 that morning.  Results back at 2.00 – first hurdle cleared.  We collected our 2 guest dogs so all 4 could get used to each other before we crammed them into Zorba the Greek car.

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Rex was a nervous dog and took a while before he’d come into the house.

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Car seats came out, giving us a flat space for the 4 dogs.  All our SCANT luggage was tied vertically to the head rests to give the dogs lying sown space.

The Route

Day 1 – 27th April:  Departure onovernight ferry from Chania to the Pireaus on Greek mainland.  

Day 2:  Driving up to Igouminitsa for a longer overnight ferry to Ancona, Italy.  

Day 3:  Arrived in Italy late afternoon so drove for a couple of hours after curfew (had a form in case we were stopped) to a pre-booked dog friendly hotel.

Day 4:  Antigen tests in Reggio Emilia and drove to another dog friendly hotel near Nancy France.

Day 5:  Up through Belgium mostly to a hotel outside Calais. Constantly checking if Antigen tests were uploaded by the lab … considered going via an airport … moved crossing and booked an extra night in Calais.  As well as being the weekend, it was also a bank holiday across most of Europe … so everywhere shut!

Day 6:  Should have caught a morning train, but antigen tests were still not available online!  Sunday … wandering the delights of Calais!

Day 7 – 3rd May:  Free and fast antigen tests and late morning train.  Dropped Millie and Rex in Kent.  Collected UK car from Aged P’s and drove both cars onto our house in N. Devon for our quarantine.

 

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 Day 1:  A sunny spot on the Chania ferry before we set sail.  The cabin was very stuffy and smelly … with 6 bodies …. dog breath and flatulence!!

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View of the Drapanos Hill and Almyrida.  Gillian messaged me to tell she was on the Kalives beach and waving at our ferry, , so we waved back … not that we could see each other!!!

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The evening was spent completing all the transit during curfew and Passenger Locator Forms we needed for each country.  Fun!  A whole new level of admin and stress!  It was good we had, as there were a number of road block in Greece and one chap wanted to see the ferry to Italy form … think he was miffed he couldn’t fine us for breaking the out of prefecture rules.

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The ferry stopped at Heraklion before crossing overnight to Pireas.

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Day 2:  Early morning off the ferry and straight to a beach for a dog walk.

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We were in plenty of time for out evening sailing from Igouminista, so lots of dog walking and a really good gyros for supper.  We’d seen this old tub sail into port, but couldn’t quite believe that it was our boat.  But it was and it did make it to Italy.  Trucks but very few passengers.

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Day 3:  We didn’t arrive in Ancona until late afternoon.  So plenty of time to sample the extortionate EUR4 coffee, but it was an Pukka Italian espresso.  

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View of Ancona port.

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Early evening walk as soon as we found a beach once off the ferry.  Despite lots of coaxing, only 2 of the dogs pooped the poop deck.  Can you imagine holding a wee for 18 hours????  Cabin marginally less hot and stinky than the previous crossing.

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Milly, that’s Oscar’s bed!

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Settled in their own beds after lots of bed hopping!  Fabulous hotel with no charge for dogs and large room.

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Day 5  Whilst J was driving, I was checking for tests, investigating if anywhere was open for new tests, changing the Tunnel and booking an extra night in the calais hotel.  We couldn’t find anything open other than a few small service station shops, so breakfast and lunch were chocolate.  Supper was an emergency tin of COLD cassoulet I’d bought en route.  A tough day in many ways.

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Day 6: Tourists in Calais!  Think we’d done most of the sights by lunchtime!  Only 6000 steps seeing the Town Hall, Vauban citadel and lots of municipal gardens … one style of planting …. only 2/3 flower varieties and straight lines.

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Being Sunday , Covid and a BH weekend, we couldn’t find anywhere for a coffee and only found 1 restaurant open in all our walking around Calais town.  We ordered a takeaway … chicken and fish pie.  But again it was COLD, as the restaurant assumed we’d heat it up at home … hotel foyer microwave broken!  We were making good headway into our Greek wine stocks by this time!  Since Brexit, we are limited to 18 litres of wine per person, so we crossed with just under that!

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Day 7: Free antigen tests done, with print outs form the lab.  Dogs in the Tunnel French pet area … tiny and boring compared to UK side … national attitude towards pets?

 

Quarantine in our house in North Devon was OK.  We did pay for test to release, but lost a day due to when the weekend fell.  On the 2 days we had to post the test results we took the long way round to the post box.  And our neighbours walked CO2 a couple of times.  They would have taken them out more often, but the weather was dire.  Felt cold.  We cleaned both cars.  Did admin.  Still felt cold.  Sorted stuff in the shed.  Did some exercises.  And watched far too much TV!   Still really cold.  And thank you to all the Crete folk sending us pix of the warm weather there!  Mum had knitted me 3 garments, the first to be sewn together was a super chunky jumper, which I then lived in!

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We got through a lot of logs!

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Great excitement … a McDonalds McFlurry on release day!

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Tide out at Combe Martin.

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We ate well once released … this was the take outs for putting together at home from Thomas Carr Michelln *  and Lin and Bo, over in Exmoor fed and watered us! well.

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Mackerel and scallop tortellini.

1733-1877: Resident in Greece

3rd December 2020 – 26th April 2021

OK, so Im playing Blog Catch Up, in a big way!

A Tale of Two Houses

The Drapanos house was a Winter let and we wanted a permanent tenancy contract for when we came to convert the beige floppy bit of card (Photo attached with a single staple) to the credit card style biometric residency card.  So after the Christmas and New Year festivities we started house hunting.  It was all a bit gloomy to start as so many places would allow not dogs.  And if they did, they had to be housed outside.  The Greeks don’t have the concept of ‘pet’ like us.  Can you imagine our pampered pooches being tethered day and night outside?  Not happening.  Having put a post on FaceBook a UK based lady made contact and suggested we look at her house in Almyrida.  We shot over there as we were just about to sign on the dotted line for another house.  It was filthy but I could see through the dirt.  James took my word for it.  This house was cheaper and bigger … and didn’t have a pool as we didn’t want the expense of the maintenance.  So we went for it.

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Leftheris Villa:  Our winter home.

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Not a bad place to do Pilates.

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It’s a dog’s life!

The new tenancy contract ran from the start of February, so we had two months of double rent.  Expensive, but it allowed us to stay over in our mountain retreat the we were meeting up with Drapanos friends.  We had access to the new house for a week before we moved in … just as well as we had to move cockroaches and other bugs out!  The house had not really been lived in for some years and the basement flat was particularly bad.  Even when we left to come back to the UK, we were still sweeping up stinky worms daily despite spraying to terminate them … twice.  Our two set of Drapanos friends are kindly checking on the house fortnightly and Julia sends me pix of the worms they are still sweeping up!  They don’t actually do any harm, but climb walls and stink if squished.

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Just YUK! 

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The Almyrida house  (our half is this side) … no name or even a street name.  Tried to send a letter to myself … we think Hassan’s Cafe now takes in post.  The garden is dog proof … Oscar would have been out if he could have found a way.

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We had to buy a few items of furniture … this one is a chest of drawers … I won’t reveal how long it took to assemble!  Or that the missing part was found tacked under J’s shoe!!

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CO2 have their end of the sofa …

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They’re very comfortable there.

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We made good use of this!

We really love the house, not just because it is relatively inexpensive but it has a warm vibe, views of the sea and the White Mountains, which have snow until June.  The basement is virtually a self contained flat for guests.  We’ve put a desk in there so I also use it as the study.  We live mostly on the ground floor: lounge / kitchen with double doors through to a covered terrace.  Our bedroom upstairs has an en suite and a large balcony with even better views.  There is a difficult neighbour …. shame!

 

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Our first aperitif on the upstairs balcony.

As part of the rent, we do some maintenance.  So this year, we’ve cleared both levels of the garden and planted herbs.  Well, Spiros did all the hard work.  He also supplied us with a generous ton of logs for next winter.  We have a trade … cakes from me and oranges, raki (sure is strong) and wine.  He also supplies really high quality olive oil.  Apparently the average Greek family will consume about 80 litres p.a.  Stupidly, I did not bring enough when we return to the UK and I’ve had to buy expensive supermarket oil … really nothing like as good.  Oh, and we’ve also had all the wooden shutters, doors and windows re-varnished … in some cases they had to be glued back together first as they really were in a poor state of repair.  Looking good now … 

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Spiros handiwork … you couldn’t walk between the over growth.  Discovered 3 lemon trees and a small orange tree. 

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Basement garden.

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Thats a lot of G&Ts!

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New stones coming for the garden … amazed the truck didn’t roll down the steep hill.

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Herbs … had to do a fair bit of weeding before the new stones were laid.

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The first orange blossom in our garden.

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Shutters, doors and windows being repaired and painted.

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Looking good.

Walking

With such amazing and varied scenery we continued to do some new and revisit other walks.  With lockdown there were usually restrictions about not walking with others.  At one point we couldn’t even drive elsewhere for exercise.   We had planned to do odd trips over the island, but Covid …

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Finally some Autumn leaves.

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View from one of our regular walks.

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Another monumental olive tree …

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… Oscar inside it!

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Socialising

With lockdown, events / fund raisers etc have all been cancelled, so we have only been socialising with a few people where we could.  We were allowed to meet up for Christmas and New Year … spent both with Drapanos friends.  Karl and Julia are amazing cooks so the food ain’t too shoddy!  Restaurants and cafes closed, but most were open for take aways.  Our favourite restaurant in Drapanos, Eleanora’s, supplied us pretty much weekly.  But we also liked a chicken dinner from the souvlakerie or grill in Kalives.  Restrictions lifted just as we left to return to the UK!!!

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Michelle kindly loaned us a Christmas tree.  Other decorations had come with us in our motorhome Christmas shoe box.

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Favorite takeaway:  Grilled fish from Eleanora’s …. and it’s all MINE, MINE!  J likes the battered fish.

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Visiting the wine cave for the Christmas purchases was an experience … lots of tastings and spent far too much money!

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Christmas Day.

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And I opened my stocking from the Aged P’s.  They buy items for Clare and my stockings on their annual travels.  This year not many countries … South Africa, Switzerland, France and of course UK.

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Not a work of art, though it was.  Karl is an amazing cook … passionate about it.  His Christmas dinner was something special.

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I tried to compete with New Year’s Eve canapés.  We had to celebrate NY early due to 9.00 p.m. curfew … But it was midnight in Pakistan!

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Julia patronises a particularly good patisserie  … this is the traditional New Year cake … one lucky person finds a coin, if they don’t crack a tooth on it.  James was that lucky person and he still has the coin.

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Cake lady with Valentine cakes!

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Julia and Ant loaned us a proper monopoly board … shouldn’t have challenged them to a game … she has a killer instinct!

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We started to feel a bit low and slow with persistent lockdown.  So we had a few Planning Picnics in a lovely bay.  Working on the principle that if you have a diary full, even with chores, the time passes more positively.

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I think the incredible water colour where we had the Planning Meetings helped lift our mood too.

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Gillian and I spotted the “How much is that doggy in the window?”

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Painting project:  Gillian wanted to reduce some of the wood effects in her house … so we attacked them with chalk paint and effects.  She was a quick learner and was soon going solo.

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With so much live stock CO2 have had to show restraint!

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We had a few appointments in Chania and walked back along the Venetian Harbour just before Christmas.


Residency

Having got our beige residency permits in November, I had to change mine to a biometric come the new year.  James, Ireland being in the EU, keeps his floppy beige card for 5 years.  It will be rather dog eared by then.  To get my credit card sized card, I had three trips to the main Police Station in Chania … submit the forms, documents and evidence of payment, come back for digital finger printing (not sure why this couldn’t be done at the same time) and then to collect the card.  Lots of horror stories of folk having the wrong documents and leaving it post 31.12.20 to apply.  And different Police Stations wanting different documents.  So it was a jubilant moment when I collected mine.

Both J and I have 5 year residency permits.  During this time we have to spend a minimum of 6 months p.a. in Greece.  No hardship!  After 5 years, we can apply for 10 year and have more freedom to be away from Greece.  

An important benefit of an EU residency for us, is that we have the right to transit through EU countries between Greece and the UK.  

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Car Repatriation And Introducing Zorba

We drove to Greece in October 2020 in the old Merc estate.  This normally lives on the Aged P’s driveway so we have a car when in the UK.  Dad’s function (not his sole function, you understand!) is to drive it regularly, MOT, pump air into tyres etc.  Mum’s task is all the admin!  Post Brexit, UK registered vehicles can only be in the EU for a total of 6 months.  Pre-Brexit it was 6 months before country before you were supposed to import it.  As we’d arrived in Greece before Brexit, the old rules applied … in other words we had to get it out of Greece before mid April.  We had planned to drive it back ourselves and return in the motorhome, but were nervous due to Covid. In hindsight, we need not have been … I subsequently found a FB group called Roadtrip to UK from Greece and Back … folk detailing their own trips.  And there were quite a number making the trip.  I’d put a FB post out there asking if anyone wanted to drive it back to the UK and we would pay costs.  Julia suggested asking the animal charities.  There are SO MANY abandoned dogs and puppies here and a number of charities work tirelessly to re-home them.  Greeks don’t pay to neuter dogs or cats, and the pups are often found in bags in skips or boxes underneath.  Often lobbed out into car parks.  So if anyone is interested in a new pet, PLEASE DON’T PAY £1000’S FOR ONE THAT PROBABLY CAME FROM A PUPPY FARM … LET ME KNOW!

Cretan Animal Protection operate out of the UK.  Carl left his van on the Aged P’s driveway.  After a delay as he’d tried to catch his flight to Crete with and NHS covid test (duh!), he stayed the night with us.  Next day took his PCR test locally, 4 dogs delivered and caught the 5.00 ferry to the mainland.  After a second over night crossing, he arrived in Ancona, Italy giving himself 26 hours to make it to Calais for his tunnel reservation.  He dropped one dog in Belgium on the way … left the car on the Aged P’s driveway in the middle of the night and then delivered the other 3 pups.  He caught a few hours sleep here and there en route and survived on Monster energy drinks!

Expensive at £1200, but it would have cost us £1500 to use a freight company.  It got the car back to the care of father and gave us peace of mind.  

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Two of the pups being re-homed.

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If she can go on the sofa, so can I!  But that’s not the dog section!!!

In January we bought a Greek car.  You can add about 30% to what you would expect to pay in the UK … it hurts.  Our choice was limited as we wanted enough boot space for CO2 to lie down.  Road tax is around EUR200 for 1.4 litre, but as soon as you go over 2 litre, you’re looking at EUR1000 p.a.  So we have Zorba a Skoda Roomster.   Dull as ditchwater, but a very functional, if underpowered (1.2 engine), run around, which has to get us to the UK.  Prior to setting off for England, we had Zorba checked out by a garage … needed a new timing belt & water pump, brake pads & disks and new tyres and we put new wheels on whilst we were at it.  We bought a dog!!!  So underpowered and VERY EXPENSIVE!

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Zorba.

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The Merc had a flat … the same chap that sold us new wheels and tyres did rather well out of us … we ended up with 4 new tyres for the Merc too.


CO2 BONUS PIX

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1025-1029: Museum, Sites and Caves

1025 – Sunday 25th March 2018:  Heraklio/Iraklio but Not As Planned

Free daytime weekend parking at the port of Heraklion…..doggy walking and then doggyinvanshutting – off to visit the much famed archaeological museum. But…..it was closed because today is National Independence Day holiday to celebrate the Greeks liberation from the Turks in 1821!  Back to collect el houndos.  The bonus for us was we got to see much of the big parade…. K got photographed with the comely local lassies….. lots of lovely people around celebrating with lunches.  We like Iraklio – it’s got life.  A good ‘snackette’ mere lunch in a side street sitting outside and watching the world go by. 

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The Arsenali: the most important Venetian dockyard in the Med.  As many as 50 galleys could be built here at a time.  And now there is massive unemployment in Greek ship building which once was a major earner for the economy.  These ship sheds were cut off by a new road.  Progress?!

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Family transport.

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 The Turkish pump house.

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The Lion Fountain or Morosini fountain, after the city’s Venetian Governor 1628.  It was the city’s main source of water, via a 15km aqueduct.  The lobes at the base allow many people to fill containers at the same time.

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We watched a two party documentary on Greece by Simon Reeve … apparently the sponge divers use long hoses so they can stay under longer.  Pollution has had a really negative impact on sponge stocks.

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The Venetian fort.

1026 – Monday 26th March:  Heraklio/Iraklio But As Planned

Van services completed – we said a fond adieu to the owners of Creta Camping – really wonderful people – and good value at £14 per night (4th night free:))!  We perambulated the hounds at a nice beach en route to Iraklio….called into a local Michelin dealer – Jez needs two new shoes in front – “Michelin Agelis” tyres. I suppose 23,000 miles is about right for a change – they’re just on the tread bar and we are front wheel drive.  Instant service again – and they will be in stock tomorrow!  Price good at €380 for the pair, given where we are.    

C and O left in van – and second attempt to see the Archaeological Museum.  Success – and – it’s one of the best museums we have seen – well laid out and informative boards in Greek and English – highly recommended – the intricacy of the pieces from over 4,000 years ago – amazing!   

Decision time – we intended to spend the night at Knossos and return tomorrow – but that nice nearby beach would be a good overnighter with loads of room for CO2 walks – so that will be our ‘nightly’. Back to ‘our’ beach via Lidl – parked for the night and – guess what – quite windy…….

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The Bee Pendant from Malia: a masterpiece combining repousse, granulated, filigree and incised decoration!  

Minoan civilisation pre-dates Ancient Greece and was extremely developed … art as in frescoes, sculpture and jewellery, weaponry, pottery, and international trade etc.  We’ve since read that the palaces were not fortified, so either their ships protected the island and / or it was just peaceable times.

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Palatial pottery from Kamares cave 1900-1700BC … I’d give them house room.

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1800-1700BC.

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Big ‘ums.  Big Ernie.  Or just big Urns.

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Harvester Vase: 27 men carrying harvesting equipment 1450BC.

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The Ring of Minos 1450-1400BC: Another Minoan masterpiece with religious iconography.

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Pottery funeral chests … never seen these before.

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And watching for our return 🙂

 

1027 – Tuesday 27th March:  Knossos and Up Into the Hills

Nice  am walk on ‘our’ beach – well, we’ve been here 4 (?) times……the wind had died down during the night, thankfully.  De van needed to be seriously de-sanded, again – definitely, deliberately, delectably, debrushedly, dedogedly and de feckin dogs brought it all in anyways!!!  Young Corrie sheds white hairs everywhere (K: even brushing both dogs every morning and sweeping out, we’re finding her hairs attached to everything)!  I’ve even found some up my nostrils – or are they mine?  Did you all know K does a mean nasal hair inspection?  Externally, of course…no, that doesn’t mean she does it outdoors – she’s wicked with her tweezers – but less detail is more here….   Is this blog about motor homing?  Yes, it’s all grist to our mills…..

Knossos Palace is the biggest in Crete with a history going back 10,000 years to the earliest settlement – amazing…..but….the most visual wooden representation of it is actually in the Iraklio Archaeological Museum. The actual site is quite impressive – we may be just a little Greco-Roman remainsfull.   

Anyone who wants motorhome tyres – go to the Michelin tyre dealers in Iraklio!  Really – drive from UK to see them – these people are the business!  Our tyres were ordered and delivered in 24 hours. We arrived to a coffee invitation (my coffee delivered by a man on a motorcycle) – instant tyre fitting – good price and just Cretan excellence.   Next destination Thrapsano – pottery making town – but – town centre on our route SatNav-guided road closed…..narrower streets.  Now, all you motorhomers will know this sinking feeling – the walls of the houses start leaning in towards you – no way through?  Stuck behind a pick up. By magic, the driver appeared and moved his vehicle – enabling us to reverse and head back out of town – then north to pick up a major road – whew!        

Coffee and ice cream once we arrived in Thrapsano, though.  K walked and found a suitable parking…. 

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Knossos:  the largest of the Minoan Palace complexes and the most visited of Crete’s tourist attractions … we’ve certainly not seen this many tour groups anywhere in Greece, even the Acropolis!  Heinrich Schliemann, famous Greek excavator / archaeologist suspect there was a city here, but was denied permission to dig by the Ottoman authorities.  This pleasure was give to Arthur Evans bought the site in 1900.  With his owner’s rights, he liberally interpreted what he found and restored his vision with the liberal use of concrete.  But you do get a sense of the size and scale, including the multi storey buildings that were built here.

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Current Knossos inhabitants … he may preen but the hens don’t seem interested!

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Just South of Knossos, the aquaduct looks older but was built on Roman lines during the brief Egytian occupation between 1834-1840.  i’ve just been reading … the Ottomans enlisted the help of the Egyptians to put down insurgencies and Crete was the prize.

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Thrapsano: Known for pottery.  Apparently they do a good export trade to the Americans.

1028 – Wednesday 28th March:  Ayios Pandeleimon Church and Karfi Castle

Walk to old church – shut so back to Jez and z-bendy drive to “Homo Sapiens” museum and parking for mountain walk up to Karfi Castle – 1,000 metres high but commencing at 800 metres.  It was steep!!!  At the top, there was a plateau – with the scant remains of the Palace…..  Bracing air – we spotted a Griffon vulture, a small church and young Corrie had to be ‘persuaded’ not to chase goats, for which she has developed a penchant….she can hear goat bells long before we can!  

Back at our parking – we detected that the owner of the museum is unhappy with overnight parking so we moved a kilometre downhill to a small secluded over nightly. 4 strong hailstorms during the night kept us partly awake but – we were ‘snuggly’…. and fortunately no rood damage.

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 Ayios Pandeleimon Church:  home to ‘imposing though weathered frescoes of soldier saints’, but shut.

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Walk up to Karfi Castle; the guide book said we may be lucky and see Griffon Vultures …. we did.

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Great, if misty, views … later the clouds swirled around us.  We is high up!

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Not much of Karfi remains; it was evacuated about 1000BC.  Excavated by John Pendlebury in the 1930’s … he died in WW2.

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She hears goat and sheep bells long before us.

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Not modern art, but hailstones on our roof light.

1029 – Thursday 29th March:  Caves

Post-hailstones, we had a lie-in, naturally…..carried water by watering can from a tap downhill in the village square.  Drove into Lassithi Plateau- a green flat plain surrounded by more mountains.  We stopped to photograph a selection of windmills en route.  Tzermiado is a plain untouristy town – we sampled (well, I did with a little help from K) a gyros – a sort of ‘MacCretan’ roll up sandwich which threatened to attach itself to my face. But a meal in itself!    

Kronos cave – free to enter – small and unlit but good old Iphone torches – mine is 6-7 years old – an Iphone -3 version!  It’s a ‘caving’ day so – forward to Dikteo cave…  Does anyone still use a ‘Dikteophone’ for secretarial work?  Or shorthand? Pitmans?  I’m showing the age thing again….  Anyway, Zeus didn’t need to be ‘dick’tated about his use of ‘dick’ety boo to his young maidens – he bowled a few overs in his time – no boundaries there….. he was born in the cave, anecdotally.

Splendid use of high camera ISO figures to light the stalactites – very phallic – no wonder Zeus was in residence here.

Now then, readers – K has this fitness thingy watch for running and walking….very progressive.  It calculates her ‘fitness age’….. Currently, she is 23 and getting younger – well, I could have told her that…   But a conundrum looms – when she gets to be ‘under age’, where do I get my ‘dickteoation’ so to speak, without being rude?   Answers on a postcard – to – ‘CluneCrete.puzzled.Gr……


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Windmills lining up at a museum on the entry range of mountains.

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Gyrating on a gyros.

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Kronos Cave entry.

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You needed your own lighting.

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View of Lassithi Plateau surrounded by mountains.

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Windmills were to draw water up from the underground aquifers … fabric sails unfurl.  Apparently very few are now in use.

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Dikteo Cave entrance.

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View looking towards Ag Nikoloas as we came over the other side of the plateau.


Corrie/Oscar Diary

Corrie here, readers – my strategy to keep Ozzy waiting after a few dates for his ‘rumpy-pumpy’ has sort of backfired – a bit like a wet fart – sorry, that’s not very ladylike – and K never does those windy things (!).  Blow me – now I’m ready to have my wotsit tickled – and the little fecker ain’t biting!!!  What’s Kensie’s address please, Robyn – will she have him back – he’s undamaged in his ‘danglies’ department…..  Now we have my new game – I chase him like a sprinter and sink my teeth in his rear leg to bring him crashing down (like Ireland did to England to land the Grand Slam)!  He barks to put me off so I grab his ear – and anything else that dangles (no, not that thing)….  Unbelievable – he loves it!  Great for beach runs – but the Owners don’t appreciate it when we romp in the van – why?  They can romp all they like (I wasn’t really looking) – but ‘doggos’ are called ‘muppets’ when romping…..  Nowt as queer as folk…

Oscar here, my readers!  That little minxy missy thinks she’s dead posh and smart….. Well, I can sew my wild groats anywhere I please!  Kensie – I never left you – it was only an optical confusion, really…..  prissy missy can take her bossiness elsewhere. My friends Boppy and Poops will stand by their man – just like Polly Barton in the song “Joleeeen” – K likes to ‘sing’ along with that one….

Yours in aloofness – head held high.

OscarClune1@TopDog.orgy.K9.love.Dot.Eu.Grrrrrrrr